Well, we all knew I had to review this novel at some point, and there’s no time like the present. Especially now that the movie is coming out in February, 2015 (PS: February is supposed to be the worst month for movie releases, just so you know). I know people will think I’m a hater, but I honestly do not understand why this book got so much freakin’ hype. Why did I read it you ask? Simple. I thought it sounded like the dumbest idea for a book ever! However, I figured it wasn’t fair to judge before reading it, so I decided to see what all the fuss was about. Let’s take a look, shall we?
Alright, here is the shortened summary: girl meets boy; boy propositions girl; girl and boy have sex; girl discovers that boy has a secret red sex room where he employs toys, spanking and bondage to get off. Now doesn’t that just sound like the greatest plot for a love story since Pride and Prejudice?! I mean when you get the girl you are seeing to detail all of her hard limits before having sex, you just know it’s going to be a fairytale romance.
So the guy is into BDSM, and apparently so are most housewives all over the world. Believe it or not his out of the ordinary sexual preferences aren’t why I disliked the book. One of the ways I always say you can tell a good romance novel from a bad one, or one that is just meh, is to actually take away all the sex and smut and see what you’re left with. If you do that with Fifty Shades of Grey then you really don’t have much of a plot to work with. When you take away the red room of pain you basically just have a rich billionaire who meets a college student. No real suspense or intrigue. Nada. There are some hints to the fact that something may be going on behind the scenes, but we don’t find out about that until the second book. So, be sure to stay tuned for that review. Hint: it will be much more positive.
Now if you put the BDSM back in, that’s the whole plot. The big secret, the huge twist. The guy has a secret fetish. I don’t understand why this fact alone made the book sell millions of copies, or why a movie franchise had to be created because of it.
Alright, now for the smut. This was actually the first book I ever read which contained elements of BDSM. Honestly, when Mr. Grey first showed our “heroine” (you can’t even use that word for this book because she doesn’t do anything) his little red room of pain I actually laughed out loud. If I were her, I probably would have been like, “Oookay, see ya later buddy. No freakin’ way are you getting me in there. Thanks for dinner, but I’ll show myself out.” My version may not have been as sexy, but I feel like it would have been a bit more realistic. She was all like, “Oh, I wonder why he has this, it’s so mysterious, blah, blah freakity blah.” But rest assured that every spanking, sexual romp, and panty dropping activity is revealed in lurid detail.
In my opinion the best part of the book was the ending, and not just because it finally ended. Rather it’s when something actually happens! But I don’t want to give away any spoilers. Another positive is that it’s a very quick read. I think it took me about 2 days, so you don’t waste much time reading it. As far as the writing goes it’s nothing special. Pretty elementary actually, which is ironic considering the details of the book are anything but. It’s basically like Twilight, but with lots of sex.
Series: Fifty Shades trilogy, book 1 of 3
Should you read it: Meh! I didn’t think it was worth the hype, but you might want to find out what everyone’s been talking about.
Smut Level: Hot damn! Don’t read this sucker in public, or else you’ll be as embarrassed as Kristen Stewart at an awards ceremony.
Buy it on Amazon: Click Here