Men in Uniform

I recently finished reading Melt for Him by Lauren Blakely, and it was so meh that I didn’t really feel like dedicating an entire post to it. However, it tells the tale of a young woman falling in love with a fireman, which got me thinking (a dangerous thing indeed). There are so many romance novels out there with the theme of a girl getting down and dirty with a man in uniform, the most common of which are a policeman or a fireman. The wheels started turning in my head, and I started wondering that if I had to choose between the two, which uniformed hunk would I prefer?

So, there are several things to consider when making such an important decision in life (ha!), and what better way to decide whether to date a fireman or a policeman than making a pros and cons list. We all know that real policemen and firemen are heroes, but I’m going to judge the two as if I had to pick my very own ideal romance novel leading man. Get ready ladies and gents for the battle of the men in uniform!

The Physique
In every romance novel with a man in uniform we constantly hear about their muscles, which have a tendency to bulge, and their six-pack abs. Probably a bit of an exaggeration, but I’m not gonna complain about the sexy picture these authors love to paint as far as their leading man’s bodies are concerned. When you put a lot of thought into it though, policemen probably have more of an exposure to donuts, which means that their beautiful muscles could fall by the wayside after a few years. Point fireman.

The Job Itself
There are definitely some negatives and positives to each occupation. Both are wrought with danger, which is a definite negative. I mean, the guy could basically die at any policemantime. My hair would probably turn white after a month with worry. Also, both could affect my sleep what with all the late night calls they get. This is just unacceptable. I need a solid 8 hours. However, in the case of the policeman the danger could actually extend beyond himself. What if he puts away a mob boss whose family decides to seek revenge? Who do you think they would kidnap and/or torture for information? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the housekeeper. It’s the girlfriend! I don’t do well with pain, so I’d probably give away everything. Therefore, point deduction for the policeman (and myself for being a complete wuss). Another con for the policeman job category is the propensity towards corruption. Let’s face it, you hear much more in the news about police brutality than fireman brutality.

As for our firemen, they are always running into burning buildings which means that they would probably constantly smell like a fireplace. Now, I can see how this could get annoying after a while, but at the same time it would probably always remind me of Christmas. I’m gonna mark this as a pro. On the con side, I love to light candles when relaxing in my bubble bath, and I have a feeling a fireman boyfriend would constantly lecture me on the dangers of forgotten candles. Definite con.

The Uniform
In my opinion, policemen look a whole hell of a lot sexier in their uniforms. They firemanusually wear a darker color which oozes sensuality, and most have handcuffs. Tee hee! Some even wear suits to court. Yummy. In addition, the policeman uniform normally isn’t long-sleeved, which means if the dude has muscles they are constantly on display. Firemen on the other hand are literally covered from head to toe, and the uniform is so bulky that it’s hard to picture what’s underneath. It might seem like the uniform category is going to the policemen, but there is something else to consider. I feel like in a passionate moment it would take forever to get the damn policeman uniform off! There are so many buckles and belts, not to mention you’d have to be extra careful handling the gun attached to his hip. Firemen usually have suspenders, which means with just a quick flick off the shoulders you’d get to enjoy!

Results
Well, it was a close race, but in the end if I were in my very own romance novel, I think I’d have to pick a fireman as my man candy. I think the deciding factor was the speed at which I could undress him from his uniform. Also, he might let me slide down the fire pole, which sounds like so much fun! Oh God, that definitely has a sexual connotation that I wasn’t expecting. I’m just gonna stop writing now. So, what about all of you? If you were the leading lady (or gentleman) in your very own romance novel, which man in uniform would you choose?

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9 thoughts on “Men in Uniform

  1. Ha! Great pros and cons post. A friend of mine married a fireman and he was a total adreneline junky. The bigger the fire the better. Apparently the feeling was pretty common among firemen. So maybe after fire sex was really hot 😉 But I never asked.

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  2. I have never seen a book review take a turn like this. I say that in a positive way. This might be the best book review I’ve ever read, and I wouldn’t choose either fireman or policeman. (Out of curiosity, how did you forget the military? I know women who go loopy for men in their Navy bellbottoms.)

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    • I debated including military uniforms, but I didn’t want the post to get too long. I felt like then I’d have to include construction workers, wait staff, haz-mat suits, etc. 🙂 Also, the last two books I read happened to feature a fireman and a policeman. Lastly, most of the romance books I’ve read feature an army man on leave, so we never hear too much about his uniform, which is just so sad.

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  3. Pingback: Giveaway! | Evelyn Aster

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