Dean Chase is on a mission to collect as many notches on his proverbial belt as possible. So far he has slept with 735 women. That’s one big belt. The only worry he has in life is how quickly he can find his 736th target. Alright, I’m gonna stop right here to begin unleashing my frustrations with this book/series. Fasten your seat belts, this will be a bumpy ride. So, he’s had sex with 735 women. That doesn’t mean he’s only had sex 735 times. He’ll go at it multiple times in one night, or he’ll call up a previous belt notch for another roll in the hay. I’ll be conservative and say that he’s had sex twice with each woman. Do you know what that means? It means the guy has done it over 1,470 times!! Now for the ultimate question: how has this idiot’s willy not fallen off yet from overuse or an STD?!?! Seriously dude, maybe you need to go out and find another hobby. I hear Frisbee Golf is fun. Or maybe an art class? Painting nudes might be right up your alley.
The whole storyline behind this series is that Dean meets a woman named Blair who he wants to make his 736th notch, but she refuses him. That immediately causes him to fall in love with her. Yeah, I’m sure that’s the truest of love stories you’ll ever hear. There were so many things wrong with this story that I’m surprised I finished the entire series. However, seeing as each book is a short novella, it really didn’t take too long to finish. Also, each one ended with a freakin’ cliffhanger, so I just had to find out what happened at the end of this train-wreck. Let’s take a look at what went wrong, shall we?
Ok, here we go. The first book is told entirely from the point of view of Dean. As most of you know, it is pretty rare for a “romance” novel to be told from the male point of view. I usually like reading those that are because they’re unique. However, the first book in the Chase series shows us why sometimes this technique can be a terrible idea: Dean is a stereotypical jackass with nothing but sex on the brain. I think it’s safe to say he’s a sex addict. Almost every minute of his day is spent thinking about when he’ll next have sex/get his fix. His friends don’t really help the situation either. They either encourage him to do something crazy with someone new, or laugh off his antics saying that one day he’ll meet a woman who will change him. Come on people! It sounds like this guy needs a serious intervention.
Alright, problem number two. One of my favorite parts of any romance novel is the meet cute. Basically it’s when our romantic leads meet for the first time. When Dean first officially meets Blair he starts flirting with her in the produce section of the grocery store. I believe references were made to her peaches. She sort of plays along at first, but after about a minute and a half of dirty flirting he licks her neck! I’m sorry, I don’t care how good looking a guy might be, or how much swagger he puts into his walk, if the asshole licked my goddamn neck in the grocery store after exchanging just a few lines of witty banter I’d be chucking hunks of lettuce at his head! Is this why I’m single? I don’t allow complete strangers to engage in neck-licking activities with me? Well, it turns out that Blair actually knew who Dean was, so he wasn’t a total random creeper off the street, but still! Have some self respect woman!
I’ve kind of been harping on Dean and his sexual proclivities, so why don’t we look at him as a person? How about his work ethic? Dean works for a law firm, and at the beginning of the series he is dealing with someone who he considers to be a rather difficult client, B. Parker. Whenever this B. Parker e-mails him with last minute changes to a contract, Dean decides he needs to be firm in his response back in order to set the pace and tone of how this business relationship will proceed. On one occasion Dean responds saying he’ll get to the changes once he finishes shitting because of eating a rotten egg. Another time he says he can’t get to the document right now because he’s getting a blowjob. Well isn’t that professional?!?! I’m sorry but I can’t see any real life scenario in which he wouldn’t be fired immediately, thrown out on his ass, and blacklisted from ever finding another job. He says it was just guy talk, but give me a break! It turns out the “guy” he was communicating with was actually Blair. Gee, didn’t see that one coming.
I know this post has mainly focused on my issues with the first book in the series, but that’s pretty much because the others weren’t anything to write home about. Although I must say the second and third novellas were a definite improvement. The point of view becomes split between Blair and Dean, and her side of the story is pretty interesting. She has some family issues which become extremely important for the storyline. Turns out she has a half-sister she never knew about who is actually Dean’s former girlfriend from college. She ripped out his heart and spit on it like a piece of garbage. Made for a more interesting read. Volumes 2-3 actually started to turn my opinion around for this series, but all my hopes and dreams were crushed into oblivion with the fourth one. I can’t really recall the last time I read a series with such an unbelievably stupid ending. The fourth book was the shortest in the series, but definitely the worst of the bunch. Warning: SPOILER ahead. At the very very end of the last book Blair decides to break up with Dean because of the fact that almost ten years beforehand he had dated her half-sister, who she didn’t even know existed. Great excuse. I figured she’d either go home and think about what her life would be like without him, or he’d make some grand gesture to get her back. Oh no, it is only in the epilogue, which takes place three YEARS later that they reunite in the grocery store and get back together. Three years?! It took them three years to realize that life without the other sucked? I can’t deal with these immature little pipsqueaks!
Series: Yes, four short little novellas in all.
Should You Read It? Blargh flargin blah.
Smut Level: Definitely a lot of dirty talk, but oddly enough the actual sex scenes between them weren’t all that great.
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