Here is the basic storyline of this short novella: boy meets girl. Hurray! Boy and girl fall in love. Aww! Boy is a prosecuting attorney who successfully puts away a murderer, only to then be kidnapped and tortured by the fellow biker gang members of said convicted murderer. Uh oh! Boy and girl are eventually reunited, but then they decide to end things because girl doesn’t want to have babies and boy does. What the…? Ookay then.
This book was definitely unique in that it was romantically cheesy, but also had some light elements of BDSM. Definitely an unexpected juxtaposition. It’s almost like The Notebook went out on a date with the first few chapters of Fifty Shades of Grey, decided they were physically compatible, and then just shoved it right up against a door handle for all kinds of indecency. Well isn’t that an interesting mental image? The book starts off like any other cheesy romance (I’m talkin’ full on Velveeta cheese here), but then it takes a turn into a descriptive sex party, followed by a detour to a lingerie shop. And it was NOT a Victoria’s Secret. Let’s put it this way, they had a toy section for adults, as well as a lovely selection of whips and handcuffs. When our heroine Lindsay reveals some of her satin and leather purchases to our hero Nick, all civilized proclivities are thrown to the floor, followed closely by their clothes. Our stereotypical romance just turned into a steamy porno faster than you can say, “take it off”. Which they did. Multiple times. He also said some things a lot dirtier than that which I’m not too comfortable repeating here.
The sex scenes between our two lovers were all kinds of steamy, but one of the most shocking scenes in the entire book was the sex party. Lindsay had no idea her friend from work was taking her to that kind of party, and the various sexual positions and threesomes which she witnessed left her feeling all kinds of hot and bothered. Now personally, I’m not a huge fan of books which feature sex parties and wanton displays of, well…wantonness. If you enjoy that kind of thing, then good on ya! But if you’re like me and it’s not your cup of poison, then I would recommend when reading this book that you just skip ahead to the next section once you get to the party scene. You don’t lose out on any of the plot, and you avoid a pretty awkward after-hours activity between co-workers. I mean, the people in my office just go out for happy hour after a tough day at the office. This book makes us seem like a bunch of boring old spinsters.
Alright, sexual activities aside, let’s take a look at the rest of the plot. I really enjoyed the murder and torture aspect of this book. Gosh, that makes me sound like a psychopath, doesn’t it? Let me see if I can rephrase that. I found the scenes related to the pursuit of justice, and the following acts of revenge against Nick to raise the dramatic level of tension and anxiety in this novel to a breathtaking magnitude. Basically, it was a very suspenseful read. Nick is kidnapped by the brother of the murderer he put behind bars, and is subsequently tortured. At the same time, Lindsay and her brother conduct a frantic search for Nick in the hopes that they can get to him before tragedy strikes. I won’t lie, it was exciting. Spoiler alert: they successfully find and rescue the gentleman in distress. The only problem is that the book continues after that.
So Lindsay and Nick are reunited, he makes a full recovery in the hospital, and everything is peaches and cream with a light dusting of sugar-coating on top. Wrong! Not long after his rescue, Nick reveals to Lindsay that he loves her whole-heartedly, and wants to eventually marry her and have lots of babies together. That’s when Lindsay confesses that she’s never wanted to have children, and rather than string along this relationship that they both know is ultimately going to fail, they decide to just end it now. What the hell?! You just went on a massive hunt to rescue this guy and now you’re going to give him up? And he just lets her walk away?! Gehkleoivek!! Ok, calm down, deep breaths, in and out. To be fair, they both had some pretty compelling arguments to end their relationship, but let’s be honest, we all know they’re gonna get back together. Which they do. And it’s obvious that eventually Lindsay will change her attitude towards having children. Which she does. Oops, spoiler alert!
So to recap our story here, it was romantic cheese, followed by murderous intrigue interspersed with X-rated sex parties and dirty talk, then a little torture and revenge, some more cheese, a pinch of heartbreak, and topped off nicely with a cheese ribbon of cheesy goodness and happily ever after butterflies. Lovely. As I already stated, we all know that Lindsay was going to change her attitude towards procreating, but I didn’t particularly enjoy how that came to pass. It’s not like she spent more time with Nick and realized that she wanted him to be the father of her children, or even saw him interacting with little kids and it sent her heart aflutter with maternal instincts. Nope! Basically she was unexpectedly knocked up, and when the doctor revealed that Lindsay was with child she was surprised that there were no feelings of panic or not wanting the baby, but only feelings of love and excitement. Well isn’t that an adorable life lesson? Listen up fellas, according to this book, if your girlfriend is hesitant about having children, all you have to do is get her pregnant and she’ll quickly change her attitude. I’m sure that always works out. Note my sarcastic tone.
*A copy of this book was provided for an honest review*
Should you read it: Ok, I realize that in reading over this review I definitely ripped on some aspects of the book. but overall it was actually pretty good. It’s got a bit of everything for every reader: romance, justice, raunchy sex, passionate sex, revenge, and a happily ever after. It’s also very short and holds your interest throughout. Not too shabby.
Smut Level: With a title of Legally Tied, you should definitely expect some tying up in the bedroom, if you catch my drift. He also ties her to a table at one point, which just seems so uncomfortable. Talk about waking up with some major back issues.
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