I’m not gonna lie, I had some issues with this book.
What’s it About?
Welcome to the rabbit hole…I am the last person in New York City who would fall head over heels in love. Independent. Self-possessed. Why would I want to f**k that up? My online dating profile at bd-fet.com simply reads: “Just looking.” So why am I obsessing about Jon Sudbury? Jon, the reporter, is vanilla as a milkshake and has probably never tasted rice and beans on the same plate before we met. At least that’s what I thought. Why can’t people remain simple and predictable? All I want is control, not to be sent hurtling at maximum speed into the unknown. Nothing about our story makes sense. The thing is, I can handle desire, lust, passion, even betrayal…But love is another world altogether. And this is not a love story.
Intriguing cover art, but what the f**k did I just read? Sabrien and Jon might take the cake as the most dysfunctional couple I have ever encountered. Talk about an unhealthy relationship! Neither really has any redeeming qualities. He’s stoned half the time and she brags about how smart she is. They argue constantly, and in general don’t seem to like each other. I can’t even say that at least they have the sex, because honestly their physical relationship is nothing spectacular. The synopsis wasn’t lying when it said, “this is not a love story.” No kidding!
The Main Characters
Jon and Sabrien are either experiencing extreme cases of PMS, or they’re bi-polar. Their emotions were constantly switching from moody to seductive, insulting to cuddly. Moodiness aside, what really confused me about this book was why Sabrien or Jon put up with each other at all. They initially met online, and during their first phone conversation he cusses her out. The fact that she was still willing to meet him in person makes me question her sanity. She then complains that his teeth are nasty, they don’t connect sexually at all, he smokes pot, does coke, they yell, and to top it all off they don’t have anything in common. In spite of all of this she insists she loves him. Can anybody explain this to me in a logical way?
I really want to have a convasation with this girl about her concept of love, because it appears to be warped. She says she loves him, but any time Jon tries to be intimate, or cuddle with her, or suggest that they freakin’ live together she gets all pissy. There was one scene in particular where she said she was actually repulsed by him, and when she saw the real him she realized he was ugly. So what does she do after she comes to this realization? She tries to get him in the mood for sex. Seriously, what?
Their Physical Relationship
Just…no. I’m not a huge fan of BDSM in general, but I can usually tolerate it to a certain degree. The whole dominant vs. submissive power play, pain is pleasure stuff, sure I’ll deal. But I had trouble stomaching the scene portrayed in this book. I’m sorry but the drinking of somebody else’s urine simply doesn’t do it for me. Then after the scene plays out Jon suggests that they have sex, and Sabrien goes off an a temper tantrum accusing him of just using her for her body. Chica! Not five minutes ago you were forcing this guy to drink your bodily fluids, but having sex is a no-go area for you?
At times I had issues with this too, as certain attempts to be clever rubbed me the wrong way. For example, one of the chapters was entitled, “I have STD”. Sabrien says how it burns and itches, that you see it portrayed all the time on TV, and that you need to use protection while having sex. Then at the end of the chapter you find out that STD stands for Self-Explanatory Typical Dysfunction. Sorry, but I don’t find this funny, and I laugh at just about everything. This technique was also employed to highly suggest that Sabrien was pregnant. Sabrien talks about how the doctor confirmed her suspicions, she’s 12 weeks along, etc. when in reality she was talking about her tumor. It was more along the lines of blatantly misleading the reader rather than leaving something open to interpretation.
*A copy of this book was provided for an honest review*
Should you read it? I personally couldn’t get into it, but if you do give it a try let me know what you think.
Smut Level: Confusion abounds.
Get it on Amazon: Click Here. $9.99 Paperback. CreateSpace Independent Publishing. 346 Pages.