Saturday Sexcapades: Hammock

For those of you fabulous people who are regular visitors to my blog, you’ll know that I’ve done a few posts in the past featuring some of the more unusual locations romance novel couples have chosen to do the deed. From elevators to automobiles, airplane bathrooms and beaches, you just never know where the mood will strike!

Previously, I’ve included about 4 unique locations per post, but I’ve decided to mix things up a bit. Rather than crush together all of the fun into just one post, why not spread things out over time? Ergo, welcome to Saturday Sexcapades, where I’ll focus attention on just one location outside of the bedroom per post. It might not be every Saturday, but this is when you can expect to see them. So let’s get started with a Sexcapade you might come across in a romance novel when the weather is a tad warmer than what most of us are probably suffering through right now!

The Hammock

The way I see it, there is no rhyme, reason, or logical explanation for ever having sex in a hammock. How is it possible for anyone to walk away from this without experiencing at least one traumatic injury?!

I’ve only come across one romance novel so far which featured a couple who simply couldn’t wait to move things from their hammock of love to the bedroom. To be fair, I kind of get the romantic aspect of it. You’re snuggled up close with your significant other, letting the gentle sway of the hammock seduce you into a passionate bubble of lust. You’re outside, probably near a beach of some kind, and the exhibitionist in you kind of wants to put on a show for your neighbors. But someone needs to explain the logistics of it to me!

Ok, on second thought please don’t explain it to me, because I honestly don’t know you all that well. Hammocks are meant to sway side to side, but with the inevitable sexual movements you’ll induce with your lover, I just feel like you’re bound to unlatch the hammock from the hook around the tree, and end up in a tangle of limbs on the ground. Good luck getting the mood back after that jarring experience. Or the two lovers will just have to be very…very…gentle. NO UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS! Otherwise you’re looking at possible motion sickness repercussions.

Mkay, so when all is said and done I’ll have to say that I can understand the appeal of getting things started in a hammock, but for the love of safety please take things inside for the big finish. If you have a hammock like this one it might be a bit more realistic:

But let’s face it, most of us common folk just have one of these, and that doesn’t bode well for anyone:

Be safe out there people!