Saturday Sexcapades: the Library

When it comes to the choice of the library as a public sex location, I must admit I am an absolute hypocrite. If I was roaming the stacks, and came upon a couple going at it like a couple of teenagers, I’d probably lose my shit. After all, I can’t stand it when I’m in the library and the person next to me is typing too loudly. Then you’ve got two people who have the nerve to shove each other up against the bookshelves, and do the dirty in a place of designated quiet? Have you no respect?!

That being said, whenever I’m reading a romance novel, or watching a movie where a couple chooses to have sex in a library? I’m their biggest supporter, cheering them on from the sidelines. Do it, do it, do it! Whether it be a public library, one at a university, or a private library located in a billionaire’s penthouse, I always do a little happy dance when this one comes along. What is it about this location that makes everything so much more goddamn sexy? Well, let’s take a peek.

Firstly, I think the fact that the library is supposed to be a quiet place supplies an added layer of suspense to the whole concept. This is when our couple will often resort to biting each other’s shoulders, or holding their hand over the other’s mouth to suppress as much noise as possible. Oh my, things are getting a little hot and heavy up in here!

Second of all, the chance of discovery at any moment is extremely heightened. This often translates into a quick and rough coupling, with the desire to bring forth as much pleasure in as short an amount of time as possible. I feel like this also leads to some pretty creative moves so that both individuals can leave with a happy ending. A fair amount of whispered dirty talk is usually involved as well. I guess you just can’t deny that the library brings out the creativity in people.

Thirdly, it’s all about the angle. 9 times out of 10, our couple remains in the vertical position for the entirety of the sexcapade, and that’s just impressive. Every once in a while, you’ll find a lazy ass couple who sneaks off to one of those study rooms, and performs the deed horizontally on a desk. Come on people, if you’re gonna have sex in a library, do it right.

And now, for the pièce de résistance if you will! If, at any point, there is a ladder involved? Well, then that’s just an automatic win.

 

Now, let’s face it, in the real world, having sex in a library is probably more trouble than it’s worth. There are always people around (not to mention security cameras), the unzipping of a pants zipper would most likely reverberate like there was a megaphone involved, and there’d probably always be the concern of knocking over the library stacks like a domino effect. But for all the authors out there who include it as a sexy romp locale in their romance novel I’d just like to say, “thanks”, for keeping it interesting.