Saturday Sexcapades: Garage

Last Saturday we explored the rather confusing sex locale of the front porch. A good location for all the voyeurs out there, but if you ever worry about splinters, spiders, or nosy neighbors you might want to find an alternative interior location. So let’s move things a little to the left and explore another locale just on the cusp of entering one’s homestead…the garage.

I must say, compared to the front porch, this location is already vastly superior. As long as you remember to hit the garage door button upon entry, you probably don’t need to concern yourself with anybody else looking in on your amorous activities. In addition, garages always seem to have the tendency to echo, so you’ve basically got your own surround sound of pleasure going on. Remember to turn on some tunes on the car radio, and the mood can officially be set.

As for where in the garage our romance novel lovers choose to get it on like Donkey Kong, there are usually two or three common varieties.

1. They don’t make it out of the car. I’ve commented on this before ladies and gentlemen, pure laziness. It’s been done, nothing special, moving on.

2. The hood of the car. Not gonna lie, intriguing. You’ve probably got a decent height ratio going on, and as long as it’s cooled off a bit before any thrusting begins it’s a passionate location. Just make sure you don’t go overboard and cause any dents or scratches.

3. Some kind of work bench and/or tool thingamawhatever. I don’t know what the hell they’re called. All I know is, I’d be worried about a stray nail, or screwdriver the entire time.

While I definitely approve of the garage locale overall, there is one major downside that I can think of. The smell. I have an extremely unfortunate sensitive sense of smell, and whenever I enter a garage I am always overwhelmed by the scent of gasoline and oil. If you happen to be in the garage of my childhood home, then there’s also the presence of garbage storage. That’s just…not pleasant. However, if it’s a man worth getting frisky with in a garage, hopefully that means he also had the foresight to purchase some kind of air freshener. The sign of a true gentleman to be sure.

So there you go! While not my absolute favorite just-outside-of-home sex locale, I must say it works! It’s somewhat confined to provide a sense of intimacy, and understandable as a location considering our main couple has probably been engaging in a bit of hanky panky in the car ride home. If you simply can’t make it the next few feet into the house, I’d say the garage is definitely preferable over the front porch. No real chance of being caught, and hopefully there’s some kind of scented candle to distract you from the smell. Although, if the man really knows what he’s doing, maybe you won’t even notice your surroundings!